Chapter 5… “To be decided”

I don’t know how personal I’m supposed to get in this thing, having never written a blog before or even read anyone else’s. Considering it’ll probably just be friends and family reading this, I can admit that today was my first “what the f**k am I doing” day. I totally expected it to happen so I was mentally prepared for my mental-ness. Sara left in the wee hours of the morning and I returned to the room to sleep a few hours. When I woke up, I was just completely at a loss. I couldn’t remember what the hell I was doing in Spain, why I was here and for the first time EVER, I was uncomfortable not knowing what I was going to do next. The money issue was also definitely weighing on me today. With no job prospects, an unlimited travel time and limited funds, my psyche started harassing me to get my life together. To deal with this, I went to the market, bought some yummy food and walked around the city. Problem solved. Or at least pushed into the background briefly.

I think I need to at least figure out my priorities over the next while. I want to travel. I want to live somewhere different. I want to develop new marketable skills that will help me get a job. I want to improve my Spanish.

I had planned on meeting up with a friend who lives here, but I have yet to receive a response from this person... unfortunately. I have other friends around Spain and Europe that I would love to meet up with, it's just a matter of deciding the where and when of it all!

I emailed a prof who has worked in Catalonia before and he responded very quickly. It turns out he’s been in Barcelona for three weeks, visiting family and applying for funding and permits to do research in the mountains of Catalonia. That project starts next year. He did offer to keep his ears open to any of his contacts that may need help in the form of a recently graduated environmental student. Bust on that front.

I emailed a prof from a class that basically changed my career path/idea of a career path. He was really helpful. I think that so far, this is the path I’m most interested in pursuing. I just have to figure out how to go about it, where to go about it and, most importantly, I have to figure out if there’s an about to go about. That made sense in my head.

Up until now, I’ve had a vague plan and when I didn’t I was distracted enough with friends and fun-having to not worry about it. Now that S, my security blanket is gone, I gotsta get on it! Or at least I feel like I have to. Mostly, I think I am feeling that I just graduated with really good grades, having made a pretty significant contribution to my field and now I want to do more. Maybe once I speak to a friend of the family’s, I’ll have a better idea of how to go about getting the certificate I need for this potential “path”.

In the meantime, I suppose I’ll just keep having fun? Oy. Tough life. But seriously, I’m loving this country and I’d love to find a smaller town that I could stay in and volunteer, intern or just participate in a project that I can be passionate about. I’ve decided that it’s worth going into some debt over something that will make me more “employable” in the long run.

I would be totally interested in working on a farm for a while if it meant improving my Spanish, getting strong and healthy and experiencing a different lifestyle… but at the same time I feel that I could put my time to better use. Time will tell I suppose. WWOOFing could be a really valid way of living in Europe for a while. Vineyard? I like wine… I don’t know if anyone would trust me with grapes or big vats of yummy fermented juice.

In the meantime, if anyone hears about any interesting projects in water, food, agriculture, wtv. Hooks me up! I interview really well ;) I hope…